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It's that time of year again, when our screens are taken over by adverts for the latest series of magazines available from the likes of DeAgostini and other purveyors of crappy, overpriced magazines.

Prepare to be suckered in with promises of cheaply priced first issues only to wind up paying £7.99 per issue thereafter for a DVD you could pick up cheaper on Amazon, although that would, of course, be sans the magazine to guide you through the life and adventures of Columbo.

You heard (read) me correctly, the latest offering being advertised with painful regularity on my TV is a magazine that will provide you with all 11 series (68 episodes) of Columbo across 34 DVDs. All of this can be yours, complete with a magazine, all for 7.99 per issue (except the first one) coming to the grand total of £263.67. Some very half-arsed research informs me that the first 7 series can be obtained for £44.99, and my superb maths skills inform me that the other 4 series will have to come to roughly £218 to make the magazine worth buying. Unless I am underestimating the quality of the magazine: perhaps it is written by the land's finest journalists, printed on gold gilded pages and will massively accrue value for ebaying in just a few short years.

Also, if I wanted to sit down and have a Columbo marathon (which, I can assure you, I most certainly do not want to do), I'd have to keep getting up to change the DVD, as the thoughtful magazine providers have deemed it suitable to only have 2 epsiodes per DVD. I can imagine it would get somewhat tiring. Perhaps some sort of DVD changer would be worth investing in (if they even exist and if there's any money left in the bank after subscribing to the Columbo collection).

Some current titles from the kings of this particular industry, DeAgostini, include: British Steam Railways, Harry Potter Chess, and Star Explorer - Build Your Own Telescope. The last 2 of which are sure-fire money spinners. Drawn in by low priced first issue, after starting to collect the pieces for a chess board, or constructing a telescope, it would be hard to justify stopping buying the magazine as it would be (and here's the real kicker) a waste of money! The irony of continuing to purchase these magazines to avoid wasting money should really be used to teach Americans about the concept of irony.

I recall one magazine where you built a model of a famous boat (the Bounty, maybe, or something with the word Rose in it). This particular series spanned well over 100 issues at a cost that would be almost into the thousands by the time you'd finished. I think that all these (and stop me if I'm being presumptuous and using stereotypes) fat, middle-aged, balding men in desperate need of a hobby should all club together the hundreds of pounds they're spending on their model boat magazine and build a full life-sized replica with fully functioning maritime equipment. Then they could sail the world together and almost certainly save a generation of housewives from a lifetime of boredom and grief.

People of Britain, I implore you, if you want a DVD collection then buy it online. If you want a chess set just buy it from your local chess retailer. If you want to build your own telescope, don't, just buy one instead! It will cost less and actually work. If you want to build a model boat for hundreds of pounds, see a marriage counsellor.

If you subscribe to these magazines I would love to hear from you and your financial adviser.